Title: What if Tigerstar Had Killed Scourge

Plot: 6/10
This is a one shot, but it does have an interesting idea for a plot, though it did not do a great job of keeping it that way. After the first few sentences you pretty much knew what would happen, and it somehow even managed to go out of character for both Tigerstar and Firestar.

Readability: 2/10
Unfortunately this was a painful story to read through. You wouldn’t think it would be that hard to write an easy read about a fight, and not even a long one at that, but obviously if you don’t put a decent amount of effort into it, you can. The fight was repetitive, the dialogs was lamer than some of the conversations between Crowfeather and Leafpool, and for some reason Firestar was surprised at Tigerstar attacking him even though they were spitting insults back and forth! I mean come on, of course he’s going to attack you!

Mechanics: 3/10
Everyone knows I’m quite picky here, and I’ll be surprised if I ever give a perfect score, but even for a one shot, this was a pretty sad attempt at grammar, spelling, and the like. There was probably an average of two mistakes per paragraph, and that’s just… unacceptable. Now, this story did earn a three, reason being that many of the errors are things that are just me being picky, so it wasn’t bad enough to get a one or two, but it wasn’t far off either.

Originality: 5/10
I haven’t read, or seen anything, similar to the idea itself, and for me the idea is what I’m looking at as far as being original goes. I will never give anything higher than a five to a story unless it has something within the story itself that’s original, which this story did not. In fact, part of this story was nearly a direct rip off of the Scourge vs. Firestar fight; again, nice idea, terrible

execution. Characters: 2/10
I’m going to be short and sweet here: Firestar did not act like Firestar, and Tigerstar did not act like Tigerstar. Period.

Description: 5/10
I don’t know what to give for this one, so I guess a five is the most fitting thing to put. The fighting was described, but it was boring and like I said earlier repetitive. There were plenty of things that could have been added, but it wasn’t really terribly lacking; yet it was lacking enough to be well below par.

Continuity: NA/10
Even though it had some errors with characters and some other pathetic plot holes, the story wasn’t long enough for me to give continuity errors.

Overall: 38% F
I’m not gonna lie, (ZOMG BLACKHEART SAID “GONNA”!) this was… painfully bad, but even though the grade was worse, it was not NEARLY as bad as “From Kittypet to Apprentice” was, and I would recommend this over that any day of the week; however, this was not a good story, and I don’t recommend it nor do I recommend “From Kittypet to Apprentice.” If you want a good read, look elsewhere, because this story was not good. It had plot holes galore, noticeably lacking description, and it very well deserved a grade of 38%. I did want to clear up that the story mentioned earlier was worse, in case anyone decided to mention it later on! Anyway, don’t read this, unless you want to go through pain!

LINK: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3482718/1/